Dalton Carlin Diary

One of the things which made the web so popular since its first days was its easy access: HTML was simple. Anyone could write a web page. This is still true, to some extent, and thanks to a number of Web Authoring tools, or services such as Wikis, Blog software and CMSes, anyone can create a Web Page. But the Web technologies got richer: CSS, scripting, the DOM, SVG, widgets… From this increased richness and complexity rose a new group of people: the Web Professionals.

For the outside eye, Web Professionals are pragmatics, knowledgeable of technologies. They know Web Architecture, their bedside reading are the W3C Specifications. But the insiders know that the Web Professionals are a highly dedicated and disciplined cast, following age-old teachings of the Web Standards 道 - the Way (or Tao) of Web Standards, striving to achieve the seven virtues.

Disclaimer: this article is a humorous look at principles of Web quality, viewed through the filter of the Bushido, the Samurai’s code of Honor. It is a companion to a talk given at the Days of Web Standards Conference, in Tokyo on July 15th, 2007. The metaphor should be taken with a smile, the principles of Web Architecture it showcases, seriously.

The seven virtues of Web Standards 道

誠 - Honesty: Use Semantic Markup for profit

Most professional creators of Web content will certainly cite “valid markup” as one of the things they
care about a lot when working on the Web. This is an apt goal, one that brings a lot of benefits: among other
benefits, it makes content more portable across platforms, and easier to style consistently.
But there are benefits to using HTML to its full potential way beyond validity. HTML is a well-structured
language providing meaning to its different elements, and making good use of semantics can reap a lot of benefits.
For example:

Using semantic elements instead of styling unstructured markup (e.g using headings instead of bold text) will make the content easier to index by search engines, and thus easier to find on the Web.
Declaring the language of a document or a block (e.g ) will allow tools and external services to know that your content is in this language: voice browsers can adopt the proper voice setting; and some services will even automatically provide a free translation of the content.
The construct can be used for smooth navigation in collections of documents. Some browsers will also pre-fetch documents linked this way, resulting in a faster, more pleasant user experience.
Rich markup can also be queried, reused, rehashed: GRDDL can be used to extract and reuse data from documents that use rich markup such as RDFa or Microformats (learn how).

Many web sites invest a lot of time and money building complex APIs to access their information, when often, they could simply use rich, semantic HTML markup: HTML can be a cheap and efficient API.

礼 - Respect/Etiquette: Use HTTP for Content/Language Negotiation

In a social context, etiquette is the art of acting and communicating in a manner appropriate to the context, and taking into consideration who you are communicating with. This virtue can be followed in our usage of the Web technologies: when serving Web content, it is important to take into account the capabilities and preferences.
That does not mean browser sniffing, which is the act of serving different content based on the detection of such browsing engine or other. Instead, HTTP provides mechanisms for a user agent to declare what types of content are supported and prefered (a feed reader, for instance, will claim a preference for the Atom format, while a graphical browser will typically prefer HTML), what languages are acceptable, and prefered (based on user preferences).
Using this Language-Negotiation technology we can provide a single resource under a single URI, but still serve it in different languages. For example when using the CSS Validator:

Tom, who speaks english as a mother tongue and whose browser sends the Accept-Language: en will see a page in english.
Tomoyo, who speaks Japanese and German and whose browser is set up to send Accept-Language: ja, de;q=0.8 will get the page in Japanese.
Finally, since Tommi speaks fluent English but who prefers Finnish, his browser will send the accept-language headers reflecting his preferences: Accept-Language: fi, en;q=0.9. The CSS validator not being available in Finnish, he will receive his second choice, that is, English

Another Benefit? Even though they may all see the page in different languages, Tommi, Tomoyo and Tom can all link to the same resource, and exchange links, and the content will automatically be adapted to them.
To learn more about language negotiation, find out how to set up language preferences in browsers and enable negotiation on a Web server, see The techniques on the W3C Internationalization Web site.

仁- Benevolence: Use Caching capabilities to save time and money

Most Web professionals know and fear this scenario: A Web site is getting some attention. Visitors are flowing to it, users are mashing up its rich, interesting content. But the Systems administrators worry. The servers don’t seem to cope with the load very well. They’ll have to get some budget for a new server, and replication will be complicated. The site becomes slow, hardly usable. Users start to walk away and use the competition, which may not be as cool, but at least, they work. Before the budget for a new server can be granted, it’s too late: the site lost an opportunity to go from cool to successful.
Scalability is a complex issue, and sometimes its problem can not be avoided. But often, they can be avoided altogether, or alleviated, by making a smarter usage of Web technologies.
Smaller page weight can have a dramatically positive effect on page load times: this is one of many reasons to use clean, structured markup and CSS stylesheets rather than bloated presentational tag soup.
But there’s a part of the equation too often overlooked: caching. Images and style sheets seldom change: are you sure your Web server properly tells browsers, proxies and search engines that they are not changing, and yet should be considered “fresh”? Even dynamically generated content has a certain life span, and there are techniques to reflect that in how they are served, to ensure that the server-heavy dynamically generated content will not be requested in vain, when a cached copy would have worked.
This practice is a win-win solution for the server and the client:

For the server, this reduces network traffic dramatically. Large sites can save gigabites of bandwidth per week with a simple caching of static documents, stylesheets, and especially images, videos and multimedia content. Fewer requests also means less loaded servers, and faster response times.
For the client, this simply means faster page loads. Stylesheets and layout images, for instance, are loaded once and for all, making browsing faster, providing a better user experience. Remember the findings of Jakob Nielsen: wait more than a second, and you are already losing users.

How is this done?

Switching on caching in a directory where your images or stylesheet lie, on a server like apache, is as trivial as adding a handful of lines to your configuration or .htaccess. With the Apache server the mod-expires module, if enabled, can take take care of sending Last-Modified, Expires and Cache-Control headers for you.

ExpiresDefault “modification plus 4 weeks”

php scripts are often used to draw content for a database. If the database has a field with the timestamp of the last relevant change, this can be forwarded to the user-agents. For example, Simon Willison’s method:

Irish rocker and activist Bob Geldof has thrown his weight behind a new project aimed at producing electricity from plant seeds in Africa. Geldof has joined Britain’s Helius Energy Plc as a special adviser to support the company’s bioenergy projects across the continent, which is seeing demand for power surge and which feels the impact of high oil prices more than any other region. Helius, listed on London’s Alternative Investment Market (AIM), is currently in discussion with South Africa’s Eskom to supply the power utility with renewable energy, generated from biomass crops such as jatropha curcas, the seeds of which are a biodiesel feedstock.

‘Life-changing’
Speaking at a press conference in Johannesburg, Geldof said that bioenergy could simulate the economic growth required to lift Africa from poverty. “I do not use the word life-changing lightly,” Geldof said, adding that jatropha curcas was the first solution that he had seen in his 23 years of involvement with African causes that offered Africans jobs, cash crops and economic power.
Power through renewable energies is and will be a major tool for developing countries, particularly for rural populations. The potential is enormous, I think it will be extraordinary if the model is replicated in other parts of Africa, it will have life-changing effects. - Sir Bob GeldofHe pointed out that the failure of the Doha Development Round – the World Trade Organisation negotiations that aimed to lower trade barriers around the world, permitting free trade between countries of varying prosperity – and the unlikelihood of a standalone trade agreement for Africa, made it all the more important to find a solution for Africa’s farmers. Biofuels offer such a solution:
energy :: sustainability :: ethanol :: biodiesel :: biomass :: bioenergy :: biofuels :: rural development :: poverty alleviation :: Doha :: Africa ::

Geldof spoke to the media after returning from a trip to Swaziland where he visited jatropha curcas plantations planted by biodiesel producer D1 Oils. Pointing to a jatropha curcas seedling on the table, Geldof said that “the potential effect of this little fellow is enormous”.

Geldof said that he was impressed by the “life-changing” potential that the cultivation of jatropha curcas trees could have on poverty-stricken African communities. The oil expelled from the tree’s seeds can be processed into biofuels and the remaining plant material can be used to fire biomass energy-generation plants.

The activist was accompanied by Helius Energy chairperson Alex Worrall and Helius Energy co-founder and D1 Oils Africa CEO Demetri Pappadopoulos. Pappadopoulos said that every hectare of jatropha curcas would produce 2,7 tons of oil and 4,4 tons of biomass.

D1 Oils Africa has obtained rights to plant more than 40 000 ha of jatropha curcas in Africa, including Swaziland and Zambia. However, the South African Department of Agriculture is yet to publish its policy on Jatropha curcas, which is currently viewed as an invasive tree.

Pappadopoulos said that the first power from jatropha curcas biomass could be produced in the next three years when D1 Oils Africa expects to harvest the first commercial crops in Swaziland and Zambia.

South Africa
In South Africa, Helius will install and operate both large 50-65MWe and small modular 5MWe biomass-powered electricity generation plants designed to meet the growing need for reliable power and support the essential move away from fossil fuels both for economic and environmental reasons, whilst taking advantage of renewable energy legislation developed to combat climate change.

This is good news for South Africa where recent, and anticipated ongoing, electricity shortages have demonstrated that the current power output is close to installed capacity. Helius is pursuing opportunities to develop its 50MWe biomass power plants and its modular GreenSwitch™ 5MWe plants in the country.

Dr Mohammed Jahed of Helius Energy Africa, comments, “The commitment to a greener, cleaner energy solution is one that is being made globally by Governments and business alike. This along with the existing climate offers an ideal opportunity for the introduction of ‘Green Electricity’ into the Southern African market.”

Helius is currently in discussions with Eskom proposing to become a significant Independent Power Provider with special emphasis on renewables. Additionally, Helius has been approached to join the Power Commissions Working Party in Zambia and is in discussion with the Government of Zambia for the establishment of new power plants, and the upgrading of existing facilities. The company is also in discussion with the Government of the Kingdom of Swaziland for a power supply agreement.

These projects will go a long way to securing electricity in Southern Africa, which is facing an ever-growing energy crisis.

Dr Jahed of Helius Energy Africa concludes, “We believe that with the involvement of Sir Bob Geldof we will raise the bar and ultimately awareness of the current energy crisis facing Africa and the solution offered by Helius to take advantage of the exciting opportunities to develop biomass as a sustainable source of renewable power.”

Elsewhere in Africa
Besides being in discussion with Eskom, Helius Energy is in talks with the government of Zambia concerning the establishment of new power plants and the upgrading of existing facilities. The company is also in discussion with the Swazi government for a power supply agreement.

In addition to using biomass from jatropha curcas, Helius is also investigating the potential of using other biomass sources including the plant material remaining from bioethanol production.

In another development, petrochemical giant BP and D1 Oils Africa’s parent company, AIM-listed D1 Oils, have announced plans to establish a global joint venture based on the planting of Jatropha curcas trees.

D1 Oils Africa corporate affairs executive Penny Healy tells Engineering News that the proposed joint venture – which is subjected to the approval of D1 shareholders at an extraordinary general meeting to be held in the next few weeks – is “a huge vote of confidence” for cultivating jatropha curcas as a feedstock for biodiesel production.

Picture: Irish pop musician Bob Geldof addresses a news conference in Berlin April 24, 2007. Geldof has thrown his weight behind a new project aimed at producing electricity from plant seeds in Africa.

References:
Helius Energy: Sir Bob Geldof gives the green light to renewable electricity - July 12, 2007.

Reuters: Geldof lends voice to green electricity for Africa - July 12, 2007.

Here’s a last minute reminder that if you are interested in the ethical issues raised by lawyers using the Internet, I invite you to join me and a stellar panel for an teleseminar on May 29 about ethical issues raised by the ways lawyers use the Internet. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a presentation on this topic with as many years of actual web-related experience as you’ll find on this panel, given that my co-presenters are Kevin O’Keefe and Ben Cowgill.

We’ve split up the topic and plan to allow for plenty of Q & A. I’m covering ethical issues for law firm websites. Please feel free to let me know about the questions and issues you have on this topic in the comments and I’ll try to incorporate that into my coverage. I’m planning to take a historical approach and talk about the evolution of legal ethics and the web from those first days when there were only a few law firm websites, a handful of articles on the topic, and no search engines as we now know them.

Here’s an excerpt from the program description and registration information can be found here.

Sponsored by the Legal Publishing Group of Strafford Publications

Tuesday May 29, 2007
1:00pm - 2:30pm Eastern

Early Discount Deadline, May 11
CLE available for an additional fee

Websites, the Internet and email are the preferred communication and marketing tool for attorneys and law firms, and blogs are a popular way for attorneys to exchange ideas and educate clients. However, there are serious ethical risks for attorneys who use these online communications with clients and potential clients.

Sites and blogs that enable users to email attorneys directly increase ethical concerns. And yet, there are few guidelines for attorneys by the courts and state bar associations.

Do the standard ethical rules regarding lawyer advertising apply? If law blogs are defined as political speech, can states still regulate them as commercial speech?

Listen and participate from your office telephone as our authoritative panel discusses the regulatory future and ethical guidelines for communicating with clients and prospective client via websites and blogs. The panel will feature:

The panel includes:

Benjamin Cowgill, Counselor and Attorney at Law, Lexington, Kentucky, focuses his career in the field of legal ethics. He is the former Chief Bar Counsel for the Kentucky Bar Association and a well-known presenter of CLE programs on various aspects of law office technology, including ethical considerations.

Dennis Kennedy, computer lawyer and technology expert, DennisKennedy.com, LLC, St. Louis, is a well-known consultant, speaker and writer who is considered among the most influential experts on the application of technology in the practice of law. He serves businesses implementing information technology and e-commerce initiatives.

Kevin O’Keefe, president and founder of LexBlog, Bainbridge Island, Washington, is the leading provider of marketing blogs for lawyers. He was a trial lawyer for 17 years, during which he successfully marketed his law firm on the Internet.

The panel will review these and other key questions:

* How can attorneys protect clients’ privacy rights and attorney-client privilege in online communications?

* What are some of the key ethical concerns for attorneys who use websites and blogs to communicate with clients and prospective clients?

* How are the courts and state bar associations currently handling charges of ethics violations involving attorney use of the Internet and email?

Following the speaker presentations, you’ll have an opportunity to get answers to your specific questions during the interactive Q&A session.

*******************************************************************************

Thanks to Strafford Publications for putting this one together. It’s a great opportunity to pick up some ethics CLE credit.

Register for the seminar here.

[Originally posted on DennisKennedy.Blog (http://www.denniskennedy.com/blog/)]

Like what you are reading? Check out the other blogs where I post - Between Lawyers (feed) and the LexThink Blog (feed).

Technorati tags: legal technology legal ethics ethics webinar

Below please find Doris Colmes’ outstanding article, “Ridin’ The Bus With Deborah”. Doris is a long time activist, Holocaust survivor and dear friend. It is an honor and a privilege to be able to publish her work on the FPN website.

http://www.feministpeacenetwork.org/Colmes.htm

Ridin’ the Bus With Deborah
by Doris Colmes, MSW

When Deborah Davis hit the news, I got hit as well – right in the pit of my stomach where terror hides, and panic lurks.. “Oh God, I mumbled, “It’s happening again

I really hate dwelling on my newfound disgust of police, but it’s hard when they keep beating the shit out of people for no reason. Did you catch the end of the video where the newscaster said that a group of policemen trotted passed them, laughing and joking about beating people up (women and children included)? Gee, that sounds awfully familiar.

The sick thing is, is that this is how police have ALWAYS treated people. The only reason they are getting in “trouble” now is because they can’t lie and cover up their actions when they are caught on video (which is way more likely to happen, nowadays). For example, if someone had videotaped the incident where I got tackled from behind by a cop and tasered 3 times, I would not be nervous AT ALL about going to court because what he did was ridiculous, blatant brutality and subsequently illegal. But, since it’s me and my witnesses against a cop (who has already demonstrated that he has NO problem lieing to cover up his actions, by what he wrote in the police report), it makes me wonder what else he’s going to pull out of his ass to try and save his job.

Okay, again, I’m sick of dwelling on this…arg….rainbows and unicorns, puppies and flowers…happy thoughts, happy thoughts…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I’m still pissed. I’m going running…

I get a lot of early announcements about upcoming products, almost always under embargo until the OEM is ready to have the product officially released.  Normally I don't have a problem honoring those embargoes but this new Convertible Notebook from Gateway is so sweet that I had a hard time keeping this to myself.  The new Gateway E-155C Convertible Notebook is a 12 inch widescreen packing, Core 2 Duo spinning, dual digitizing Tablet PC with an internal optical drive.  Weighing in at 4.5 pounds the E-155C is light enough to be used in most mobile settings and the powerful hardware components will handle any task with ease.

Conversations I've had with Gateway indicate the E-155C has an intelligent dual digitizer that has the touch screen automatically deactivate when the pen (with digital eraser) gets close to the screen. I'm happy to report the active digitizer is a Wacom digitizer, the best in the business.  It's obvious that Gateway listened to users and has incorporated a lot of usability features into the E-155C, including a hardware button that launches the Windows Mobility Center.  There are three hard drive options, 60, 80, and 120 GB all spinning at 5400 RPM.  Prices start at $1,849.99 with another version going on sale in May for $1,499.99.  I can't get my hands on one of these babies (are you listening, Gateway?)  Below are the key features and you'll find the full press release (and more pics) after the jump.

Intel PRO/wireless 3945 802.11a/b/g

Wacom digital pen with digital eraser

12.1" WXGA screen

Memory expandable to 4 GB

Support for Intel® Core™ 2 Duo U7500 Ultra Low Voltage Processor

Mobility center button gives customers one-touch access to mobility settings when used with Vista

SATA 5400RPM hard drive in 60GB, 80GB or 120GB capacities

Advanced security with optional Computrace Complete tracking software

Fixed CD-RW/DVD, DVD Burner and Weightsaver options

GATEWAY CONVERTIBLE NOTEBOOK Puts a new spin on Classroom studies, OFFICE PRODUCTIVITY

Thin-and-Light Notebook with Tablet Capabilities Boasts 12-inch Widescreen Display, Touch Screen, Digital Pen; Ideal for Growing Tablet Demand in Education Segment

IRVINE, Calif., April 19, 2007 – Gateway today unveiled the new Gateway® E-155C Thin & Light Convertible notebook, which gives customers the benefits of Tablet computing with digital pen and touch screen capabilities in a sleek, thin-and-light form factor.

The Gateway E-155C infuses keyboard, digital pen, and touch-screen input capabilities into a single mobile device optimized for Microsoft Windows Vista. Customers can use the Gateway E-155C to access information, applications and multimedia content as well as take handwritten notes, draw diagrams, edit documents and enjoy full PC functionality, making it the ultimate productivity tool for education and business environments.

One of the thinnest and lightest convertible notebooks on the market with an integrated optical drive, the Gateway Convertible Notebook will impress customers with its features optimized for mobile computing, such as a 12-inch widescreen display, an Intel® Core™ 2 Duo processor and a biometric fingerprint reader. Plus, the Gateway E-155C has a new industrial design that starts at only 4.5 pounds.(1)

“Gateway has been leading the Tablet market with innovative products since 2002, and this product rounds out our portfolio, giving customers a family of Convertible Notebooks from a single provider,

What’s up everybody, our writer extraordinaire, Flo Dirt, has really been on the grind. Yesterday (3/23/07), he had the cool opportunity to interview yet another hip hop legend. It was NumSkull who was 1/2 of the Oakland-based duo, The Luniz (classic EP-Operation Stackola, “I Got 5 On It”). Well, just to give you a head’s up, he’s got a new solo album coming out this season called “It’s NumWorld” due in stores on 5/29/07. Just so you know where his head’s at right now, check out what he had to say to Flo Diggy in the latest installment of “10 shots from Flo Dirt”…..
Flo Dirt: What’s goin’ on, Num??

NumSkull: I’m good man. What’s up?

Flo Dirt: I gotta tell you that I loved that “Lunatik Muzik

Finally the day we had been waiting for arrived and we walked up the ramp to the ship. I don’t remember the name of it since it was about five miles long and in another language. It was beautiful. We were given directions on where our room was located and Melanie and I wasted no time unpacking. This cruise was going to last a week and we didn’t want to be living out of our suitcases.

We threw our bags up on the bed and starting sorting out what would go where. As big as cruise ships are, you would think they would have more space for clothes. There was one small closet and a dresser matching in size. I watched as she started to remove her ‘delicate’ clothing. She had an amazing range of lingerie, from black leather to white lace. If it could be found at Victoria Secrets she owned it. I often thought that it was a form of addition, some people are addicted to caffeine, nicotine or stronger, and Melanie here is addicted to lingerie. To each her own I guess.

Once we got done packing we realized that there was only one bed. Now I admit I’ve often fantasized about messing around with Melanie, who hadn’t? She was hot as hell. She had the body that most women are jealous of and most men drool over. She was five foot eleven, 140 pounds soaking wet, the longest legs I’ve ever seen on anyone, wavy long red hair and a nice set of tits. We make a good pair, I’m five foot six, 135 pounds, brown haired and I’m the president of the itty-bitty titty committee! She’s picked on me since we were in grade school. Back then I honestly thought I’d grow more, but at twenty-six I’m still a nice perky 34 B. I never acted on my desires since she was my best friend and I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have already, so I keep them bottled up. I made a joke about there being only one bed; we both laughed and headed out to see the ship.

We’d been in our cabin longer than I had thought cause I could just barely make out the port we left. She grabbed my hand, which she frequently did, and we walked along the upper deck basking in the sun and fighting the wind in our hair. I couldn’t keep my thoughts off of her.

After dinner we went to the ‘club’. Major flash back! They had disco blaring and lights flickering. The only thing missing was the ball hanging from the ceiling. We must have missed this in the things to do bit. Just about everyone there was dressed in the 70’s garb. We made the best of it and had a great time making a fool out of ourselves, considering we were four when 1980 came on the scene.

She had a lot to drink and was a bit tipsy. She leaned on me for support and I suggested she sit down. She looked up at me with a grin on her face, “Why don’t we just go back to our cabin?” she asked. I didn’t see anything wrong with that, and besides my arms were getting tired. I unlocked the door and she stumbled forward. I barely was able to catch her and maneuver her to the queen bed. We both collapsed onto the soft bed.

“You know Sally, I’m not as drunk as you think.” I just blinked. I’ve been told sometimes people need to hit me over the head with a brick. I don’t pick up on subtle hints. She giggled and brought her hand up to my face. “My dear sweet Sally, you are so thick headed!” Then she kissed me. I felt tingles cover my body from head to toe. I was on fire. I could barely smell any alcohol on her breath. She was sober and she wanted me! I didn’t know what to do. I had forgotten everything I had planned I do or say to her if this moment were ever to arise.

She quickly undressed me and made me lay still on the bed as she retrieved something out of one of her dresser drawers. I wasn’t allowed to peak. She rummaged through the drawer and headed back to the bed. I heard a light humming as soon as she got situated next to me. She had grabbed her vibrator! She traced the vibrating little cock up my leg, to my inner thigh and over my lips. I quivered all over as the sensation traveled up my body.

She watched my face as she pressed the vibrator against my pussy. I squirmed as my clit started to throb, impatiently waiting to be touched. MY moans were more like whimpers as she teased me with the plastic cock. Suddenly she pressed harder and the tip slipped in between my lips grazing my yearning clit. Electric waves of pleasure flowed all through my tingling body. As she pushed the vibrator deeper into my pussy, teasing my tight hole, her tits rested on my thighs. Her nipples were as hard as pebbles.

My moans grew louder and more intense as she let the cock plunge into my wetness. I squeezed tightly around the shaft as it entered my canal sending surges of pleasure up my spine. She pumped the cock in and out of my pussy, faster… harder. She leaned forward, stuck out her tongue, and began to stroke my aching clit, her warm breath washed over my wet pussy. I felt the familiar stirring brewing deep inside me; I knew it wouldn’t be much longer before I came. She continued to fuck me with her tongue and the fake cock.

My hips rocked on their own, forcing her tongue and the vibrator deeper into my pussy. I laced my fingers into her hair and pushed against it. My orgasm exploded and I felt my pussy spasm around the humming cock. I knew my moans could be heard from outside the room, but I didn’t care. My climax was so intense! I shuddered as her tongue continued to stroke across my clit. Once my moans faded she let the vibrator slide out of my pussy. It was completely covered in my juices. She brought it up to her face and inhaled deeply. The smirk on her face told it all. She wanted this as much as I did. Then she did something that surprised me. She licked the cock clean and tilted her body down to kiss me. I could smell and taste myself on her tongue. We both moaned into the kiss. This was definitely the pleasurable cruise the travel agent had promised me.

Hey folks,

Whilst searching the net one night in search of a russian mail order bride to complete my collection I wandered across the official hula hooping website to find none other than our own Vivacious Miss Audacious featured on their page!! Follow this link to check her out: http://www.hooping.org/archives/000781.html

And if that wasn’t all; the music for said hooping act is inspired by the great and original tape splice skronking rock insect bands out there, Renaldo and the Loaf. I passed on our video to Mssrs. Renaldo M and Ted the Loaf and got their whole hearted seal of approval on the arrangement and presentation of their fabulous song, Bearded Cats on the Lawn. Be sure to stop by their myspace, where you’ll find our video featured, and listen to some of their fabulous tunes while you’re over there.

And of course in our most important slice of news, our farewell “best of at the Sazerac” show debuts Sunday July 29th at The Sazerac Lounge. If you hadn’t heard already we are rounding out our year with a string of shows in the main room at the Intersection and sadly, due to limited capacity, must bid the Sazerac a fond farewell! Don’t miss it folks, come out and support Grand Rapids’ only source of underground comedy, music, theatre, and performance art; Super Happy Funtime Burlesque!!!

Here at Tough Pigs, we were excited when a new TV show featuring the Muppets, Sesame Street, premiered last season. Personally, the show quickly won me over with its delightful mix of inner-city people, creatures, and educational content. But this morning I watched the premiere of the second season. Based on this first episode of the new season, the good times are over. Instead of sticking with what worked in the first year, the producers have decided to make all kinds of unnecessary changes.
First of all, there is no regard given to continuity. The show’s main set now has a tire swing, which is not only dangerous for children but also makes no sense. There’s no reason a tire swing would be added to this neighborhood. Still, if that were the only change, I’d probably be okay with it. But Oscar the Grouch, once a disgusting shade of orange, is now a visually pleasing green. As far as I can tell, this serves no purpose but to undermine his grumpy character. Even worse, the Muppet Ernie now wears a striped shirt. Last season, he was simply naked. I can only imagine this was done to discourage rumors that he and roommate Bert are meant to represent a homo-sexual couple.

I’m probably paying too much attention to the established characters anyway, as it looks like the show will be ignoring them in favor of a bevy of new ones. In particular, two new monster characters named Grover and The Cookie Monster are pushed heavily in the season premiere. Grover, a strange blue monster with oddly-placed eyes, appears in two sketches. The Cookie Monster appears in a whopping four. They even have one song together! It’s clear these fuzzy new characters are nothing but crass attempts to sell more toys. The producers are foolish if they expect me to care about these abominations. The fact is I never will, and neither will anyone else.

A third new monster, the hideous Herry, is performed by a puppeteer named Jerry Nelson. That’s right – last year’s team of three Muppet performers (Jim Henson, Frank Oz and Caroll Spinney) has been expanded. I haven’t seen enough of this Nelson fellow to judge, but I can pretty much guarantee he’ll never match up to the seasoned veterans. Still, he’ll probably get a bunch of toy-selling characters of his own before too long. The focus on these dull new Muppets will certainly lead to less emphasis on old favorites such as Big Bird, Mr. Hooper, and Buddy & Jim.

Speaking of Buddy & Jim, it looks like they have been replaced by a married couple named Larry & Phyllis. Buddy & Jim, with their hilarious Abbott-&-Costello-style antics, were my favorite part of the show last year. This new pair simply sit on the couch and act like rather unintelligent children. If this is the type of Sesame Street sketch future generations of children will grow up to imitate, I want no part of it.

Larry is played by Alan Arkin, the star of Inspector Clouseau. This leads me to another way in which Sesame Street is ignoring its original goals– a ridiculous number of guest stars. In this premiere alone, we see Carol Burnett, Bill Cosby, Laugh-In’s Arte Johnson, and the entire cast of Bonanza. The show used to be focused on teaching kids and developing lovable characters of its own. Now it seems to be more concerned with showing off how cool it is among TV stars. It saddens me to see the show selling out in this way.

Another way the season premiere lowers the standards of the show is by resorting to tired references to popular culture. We got a bizarre detective character named Sherlock Hemlock, played by this upstart Nelson, who seems to be replacing Bert as Ernie’s new comedy partner. I have to wonder what crimes poor Arthur Conan Doyle ever committed to deserve this shoddy “tribute”?

Then we got a simply awful game show “parody